3 Degrees to Poverty : BA + MA + MA = Permanent Unemployment = Poverty

     Why don't I have a job? Why, oh, why? I'm a good worker. I have some good experience. I make good cookies and like bringing them to work. I have some excellent qualifications - I have three college degrees! All of them are in education: a Bachelor's in English (1985), a Masters in History (2008) and a Masters in Education (2015). I worked hard for those degrees. I'll be in debt for student loans for the next 30+ years on account of those degrees. And the job I have now - this little tiny under-paid barely part-time hours per week job I have now, doesn't use any of the knowledge I've accumulated over the past 30-something years working in the field of Education. This job I have now uses the typing skills I learned as a sophomore in high school. And I'm quite glad to have this job, even though I complain about it, now & then. If I didn't have it I would be living out of my car and dumpster diving for my meals, and that's a fact. I stumbled into this job quite by accident because I was looking for a food bank nearby, in fact. I'd run out of top ramen and couldn't afford any more, believe it or not....

     I totally love this job I have now. I'm actually helping people who actually need some help.  I just wish it paid me a bit more per hour and gave me some full time hours. Some benefits would be nice, too. But I guess we can't have everything, sometimes you gotta keep your expectations low.....hold on.... WAIT A MINUTE!! I was told I would have everything if I got a college degree!! I remember distinctly being told by my parents, my grand parents, my aunts & uncles, by my friends and by my society, that I could write my own ticket as soon as I got that degree, but that's turned out to be pure BULL PUCKEY!!!!!

     Life wasn't supposed to be like this, I told myself. Life wasn't supposed to be lived only one thin fragile soap bubble membrane away from homelessness, I heard myself say. But that's what's happened. That was the truth of my life.

     The years from 2008 to 2015 were very lean, to say the least. No job, no other income, living on public assistance, living with my damn mother, dreaming of joining the middle class but never getting any where near it. Those should have good fat years where I was happily watching my home equity build, occasionally visiting my 401K, and having a vacation on a regular basis. Ahhh, retirement!! What a lovely concept! But then I would wake up to a very different reality. And then I would cry. And then I would get hysterical. And then I would pull myself together and continue looking for a job.

     In 2010 I mailed out 233 job applications, that year. The cost of paper, envelopes and stamps nearly broke me. I had two interviews that summer. Just two. Both were for jobs that were going to be filled internally (by someone already working there...) and the HR person wanted to make things look legit by having a couple outside people interview. Other than that, no phone calls or emails asking for more info about me..... nothing.... nada.... niente!

     At some point in this, the 22nd Century Anno Domini, I heard myself say what I need is more education! My ego was in total control back then so I listened to that advice. So I started the process of getting my SECOND masters degree - this time in Education. I was gonna teach college level English and History at a community college. That's what I was gonna do. I was gonna make a positive contribution to our country as we recovered from this blasted recession. I was gonna have so much satisfaction knowing that my students would go out into the world ready to face the challenges ahead.

     Yeah, right, sure....

     I embarked on an online degree program to earn my masters degree. I happily signed the application forms for the student loans. I willingly turned over my entire life to sitting in front of my lap top for 14 hours a day to read about, write about and discuss Education. I had classmates from all over the world. I had HR experts give me critiques on my resume. I was able, thru the University job placement section, to send letters of inquiry to every community college in the western United States.

     One thing this online university neglected to tell me was that there were NO JOBS AT COMMUNITY COLLEGES!!! Yeah, sure, there might be an "adjunct" job here and there that would give me 6 hours per week at $14 per hour, no bennies, no job security of any kind, no hope of more hours or better pay. The best deal that was available would actually cost me more in parking fees and gas for my car than the job would pay!

     And then there was the knowledge that those student loans would some day need to be paid off someday, somehow.......

     There followed an amazing change in my perceptions of Life. My horizons changed dramatically. I started looking around me, at the apartment I lived in, the food I ate, the clothes in my closet, my car in the designated parking spot, at the image in the bathroom mirror. I found myself feeling grateful for the first time in my life. I was tremendously grateful for all that I had, and I wanted to thank someone for my everything. I thrashed around looking for that someone, for some deity or divine being who had made it all possible. That was "old programming" as Wayne Dwyer says. I had to look in the bathroom mirror again and say to my reflection, "Good job, SheriLyn. You're doing a good job keeping it all together. I'm sure there's lotsa folks out there who don't have as much as you do. They would envy you. You're doing just fine." And by gawd, my reflection was right. Just about then I got a job with Goodwill as an "at-home call agent" for their 2-1-1 service, which is a free phone call to anyone seeking info about programs for seniors (like Meals On Wheels) and social programs for women who are victims of domestic violence (like WEAVE) and before/after school meals free to youngsters (like NoKidHungry) and others programs like that. I've been volunteering most of my adult life, mostly with Veterans, and I've done some good work during those activities. But this job offered me the chance to do something very much different than I'd done in the past. I was able to actually help an individual, who was perhaps really beaten down by life, who needed to find a way to stand up and find some dignity again, and do themselves some good. It was a job about self-empowerment. That's how I was trained to do this work. In my job interview, I remember questions on the job app about how I would deal with certain situations brought about by phone calls from people who were looking for assistance - everything from rent payment and utility assistance to finding a homeless shelter to locating free legal advice about restraining orders. I guess my answers were what they wanted to hear, because I got the job and started training the very next day. My boss told me recently the reason he hired me was because I displayed the most basic trait they are looking for in a person who will be a call agent for 2-1-1. That person must be the kind to encourage the caller to be their own advocate, to be their own champion. People who are homeless or indigent or displaced or broke or whatever have one terrible thing happening to them, and that has to do with their self-esteem. If they're not very careful they end up completely dependent on someone else, on some part of society. That never works out terribly well for anyone involved. Being self-sufficient truly is the only way to live Life, the only way to find happiness and fulfillment. My job was about being kind and gently guiding the caller towards that self-sufficiency. Yeah, that caller just got the sh*t kicked out of her by her husband, and the law is going to do what its supposed to do in its own sweet time, but the rest is up to her. She's gotta move on. She's gotta put her life back together herself. She has the tools to do that, but she needs a bit of encouragement (counseling) and to learn to write a resume (job skills) and to dress appropriately for the interview (find her the nearest clothes closet) while still feeding her kids (find the nearest food pantry).

     See how it works? They have all the pieces of the puzzle in their hands. I help them start putting the pieces together. That's all it is. Simple as that.

     Things are a bit better now for me, but I'm still very frightened - I still feel very vulnerable. Am I living in poverty? No, not really. If you look at the definition of that word, I do not know hunger or suffer great hardship nor am I destitute or indigent. I have enough. Ghandi talked often of having enough. He believed that truly was the way to live life, by seeking and obtaining enough. The trouble is, my Friends, knowing what "enough" is, what it looks like, what it feels like, when to know you've got it. That's a lesson I haven't learned before now. This is the time in my life, I believe, to learn that lesson.